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Fear.

We all have phobias. Spiders, cramped places, the dark. And how do we transcend from our fears? Acknowledge, plan and action. At least that was my strategy as a child when counteracting the boogeyman at night. So why can’t I implement this type of approach in school? I constantly remind myself of the consequences that will happen if I fail to do so, yet my words are not registering in my membrane. I’m just really fearful that I’m not going to succeed in school. 20 years old now and I can openly admit that my greatest fear is failure. One word, yet so patronizing.. I really can’t emphasize it enough like a pastor preaching about God. I just had my accounting test today and I’m sure I didn’t do as well as I hoped. Hope.. maybe that’s why I’m receiving mediocre grades, I HOPE for things to go according to plan, but hoping can only take you so far. Hoping is not even half the battle. Fuck, it ain’t even a 1/16th of  the battle. As I said earlier, acknowledge, plan and action. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting dimmer everyday that I’m not doing what I am supposed to do. My parents are getting old and God knows how much longer they have left in them. The time is now to fulfill and commit.

ACKNOWLEDGE: What is deterring you from success? Why are you unable to reach the goal you’re chasing after? THE COMPUTER. As silly as it may be, it really is the root of all evil LOL. I get so fucking distracted every time I try to go on my computer to do homework. I can’t concentrate on one task without looking at an NBA highlight video or being intrigued by images from Tumblr. THE COMPUTER..

PLAN: What is your strategy to deviate you from your main source of distraction? I need to carry out some sort of consequence every time I distract myself on the computer. But it has to be within reason and something I can actually dedicate myself to.

ACTION: So what are you going to do if you catch yourself being distracted? I’m going to donate each piece of clothing that’s of value to me every time I try to visit a site that’s not homework-related.

RESULTS: To be permeated…

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