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Fear.

We all have phobias. Spiders, cramped places, the dark. And how do we transcend from our fears? Acknowledge, plan and action. At least that was my strategy as a child when counteracting the boogeyman at night. So why can’t I implement this type of approach in school? I constantly remind myself of the consequences that will happen if I fail to do so, yet my words are not registering in my membrane. I’m just really fearful that I’m not going to succeed in school. 20 years old now and I can openly admit that my greatest fear is failure. One word, yet so patronizing.. I really can’t emphasize it enough like a pastor preaching about God. I just had my accounting test today and I’m sure I didn’t do as well as I hoped. Hope.. maybe that’s why I’m receiving mediocre grades, I HOPE for things to go according to plan, but hoping can only take you so far. Hoping is not even half the battle. Fuck, it ain’t even a 1/16th of  the battle. As I said earlier, acknowledge, plan and action. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting dimmer everyday that I’m not doing what I am supposed to do. My parents are getting old and God knows how much longer they have left in them. The time is now to fulfill and commit.

ACKNOWLEDGE: What is deterring you from success? Why are you unable to reach the goal you’re chasing after? THE COMPUTER. As silly as it may be, it really is the root of all evil LOL. I get so fucking distracted every time I try to go on my computer to do homework. I can’t concentrate on one task without looking at an NBA highlight video or being intrigued by images from Tumblr. THE COMPUTER..

PLAN: What is your strategy to deviate you from your main source of distraction? I need to carry out some sort of consequence every time I distract myself on the computer. But it has to be within reason and something I can actually dedicate myself to.

ACTION: So what are you going to do if you catch yourself being distracted? I’m going to donate each piece of clothing that’s of value to me every time I try to visit a site that’s not homework-related.

RESULTS: To be permeated…

MADE TO BE GREATER

Hi. Hello. Welcome. Hey. Yo. Sup.

Quick disclaimer, 90 percent of the time I’m going to be off tangent and there are going to be no actual substance nor any invigorating profundity in this blog. I’m just a small kid in a dense population, trying to be greater than I am.

Funds. Cash. Finance. All that’s on my mind. I guess one of my greatest fears is being an average joe making an average joe pay. But fuck that, I am MADE TO BE GREATER. I keep telling myself that. I even have that shit posted on my wall so I can wake up to that every fucking morning LOL. Still, no motivation. But I think I speak on behalf of almost everyone, we all want to make our parents proud. How so? Being financially stable and allowing our parents to finally retire and relax for the remainder of their life. My mom wakes up at 4:45 AM, Monday through Friday. My dad works everyday during tax season, day & night. It’s really taxing and causes a great toll to their body. My parents hustled too hard to have this type of justification, they deserve better. But if I want them to live a better quality of life, I need to be successful. I am MADE TO BE GREATER. I’m almost 21 and I feel like my progression is minimal to none. 2.67 GPA, lack of priorities & responsibility, whack ass job, no hard work ethics. Smells like an average joe. But fuck that shit, I AM MADE TO BE GREATER. I really want to prove to myself that I am and WILL be successful. “The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.” And that’s what I’m aiming for, succeed even if no one notices. Tou-fucking-che. So I know this one girl and her life/struggle straight up inspires me. 18 years old only and is supporting herself – (money, food, transportation, a roof over her head). I’m 20, and I ain’t even making moves like that. How is it that she can stand her own ground, maintain excellent grades, go through all the hardships in her life, and still be able to enjoy the perks of life? I really envy her. It’s simply a beautiful struggle. But I will persevere and make my family proud. And I vow that I’ll retire my parents before I turn 25. I PROMISE. Just gotta keep telling myself this…

I AM MADE TO BE GREATER..