Sacramento State Situated.
Dorm life is not shabby.
Prior to moving in my dorm, I had this negative connotation about living with a stranger in an unknown environment and moving away from my family. The fact that I wasn’t going to have a mom or dad to guide me in case I was lost. The fact that my mother was going to temporarily live without me. The fact that I was going to be moving away from my friends. The Bay Area food that I was going to miss out. The weather, the atmosphere, the air… All these thoughts and more were constantly circulating in my mind. Wanting so badly to delay this as much as I can. The wishful thinking that time would slow down just for my sake. Hoping that an omnipotent force was going to descend upon our world and prevent this from happening. I was mentally and physically unprepared. But I couldn’t avoid the inevitable and as much as I dreaded it, I ultimately wanted to grow.
And you know what, I’m glad I took that leap of faith. Despite the temptations and the sinful desires that are derived from college, Sac State has disciplined me and shaped me into a more responsible individual. This feeling that I’m having is like in proportion to a mother successfully teaching her child how to ride a bike, where I’m the child and Sac State is the mother. It’s an invigorating feeling and like a transcendence to new life and opportunities. It also turns out my roommate is a pretty chillass person. We both have ADHD and in a sense, it’s like… soothing. Like there’s a mutual understanding and mutual reciprocation. We don’t talk too much but we find comfort in silence and I think that’s the ultimate testament to being comfortable around people. So far I love all my professors at Sac State. They’re enthusiastic, willing to teach, sympathetic, it’s nothing I’ve experienced in community college. The people here are friendly and informative. It’s simply…for a lack of betters…wonderful. I’m hoping to leave a legacy here and do more than just attend classes and do homework because I know I’m Made To Be Greater.
Untitled
Always progress. Be goal oriented. Never vegetate unless you’re truly exhausted. Be more knowledgeable than you were yesterday. Take risks. Don’t pay attention to those who don’t matter. Sleep less if you have to. Sleep in you have to. Finish your assignments at all costs. Stay humble. Be happy. Smile bigger and brighter. Try to give it’ll come back to you ten fold. Invest in NOW, the results will be promising. Utilize every minute of your life. Don’t hold off what you can finish now. Seize opportunities. Make smart decisions. Refrain from gossiping. Always encourage or uplift other people but mean it, don’t give empty compliments. Never be condescending among people. Don’t be angry. Do things that will make people proud of you or feel inspired and motivated. Always make a schedule for yourself. Stay motivated/hungry. Be independent. Be frugal with your savings. Concentrate on the NECESSITIES or things that are BENEFICIAL, as opposed to having a materialistic lifestyle. Exercise. Care about your health. Straight A’s mentality. Don’t ever give up because it’s too hard; the only time you should give up is when you’re out of time. Be kind. Don’t fall into peer pressure. Give yourself a few minutes of meditation, it’s therapeutic and your body will love you. Contemplate. Eat breakfast. Don’t complain, there’s always someone out there who has it worse it than you. Be appreciative. Feel fortunate. Love the people who love you back. Love the people who aren’t so loved. Feel blessed. Invest wisely. Create good vibes. Whatever you put out in the world will be reciprocated; if what you want is love and happiness, BE loving and happy. BE and do yourself what you want to have in your life. If what you see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait you find unpleasant, then you are not focused on a higher level of existence. In order to grow, it is WE who must change and not the surroundings; when we change who and what we are within our heart, our life changes too. We mirror what surrounds us and what surrounds us mirrors us; we must take responsibility. Looking back to examine what was, prevents us from being totally in the HERE AND NOW. Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, old dreams… prevents us from having new ones. History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path. True joy follows doing what were supposed to be doing, and waiting for the reward to come on its own time. You get back whatever you’ve put into it; the value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.
Little food for thought.
One of those nights
One of those nights where you ask yourself.. where are you going in life? My motivation has hit rock bottom and I’m seriously lacking the will to do my best in school. Have I even progressed from 2 years ago? I know success does not happen over night. It’s a delicate process. BABY STEPS. MAKE EACH DAY COUNT. NO MATTER WHAT, JUST KEEP PROGRESSING. I keep getting caught up in bullshit. Obstacles that I choose to not overcome. I just stare at it and let it bring me down. I know what distracts me, yet I’m not implementing any actions to keep me away from distractions. There was this one night where I was contemplating if I should just be forced into isolation and just try to figure out myself…cause staying here is definitely not helping me progress. Idk what I want..and I really need help. Please God, if you can just give me some sort of sign…ANYTHING. I don’t have the willpower to transcend from this lackluster life of mine. I NEED TO BE BETTER IN LIFE. Idk what to do…I’m lost…
Attributions (Nobody’s Perfect)
Everyone has their ideal soulmate. Here’s mine:
– Talkative
I love a female who can talk for days on end. If a female is able to talk about whatever is on her mind, be it the weather, politics, food, furniture, ANYTHING, it’s definitely a turn on.
– Intelligent
Intelligence doesn’t mean you have to be school-educated, sometimes school is not for everyone, but I would like to see some sort of knowledge beneath your exterior.
– Hygienic
Nothing is more unattractive than a female who reeks of B.O. Brush & shower please.
– Fashionable
This can be open for interpretation. I just want a female who is presentable. Doesn’t mean she has to cop the latest bag design from LV, or buy some $300 shoes. I want a female who feels comfortable in what she’s wearing, not a girl who replicates what she sees in a magazine or blog. Simple and plain always suffice.
– Family Oriented
I know we’re way too young to be thinking about familial matters, but one day we all want to raise a family of our own. A woman that appreciates the value of family time, is wifey material in my book.
– Forgiveness
I’ve done my fair share of unethical practices and hell-bound sins when it came to relationships. I want a female who learns to accept and forgive and I’ll do the same. I don’t want my past to be the core of our arguments. The past is the past, I want to focus on the present and the future.
– Above & Beyond
A woman who will go the extra mile just to see their significant other smile. Acts like massaging me when I don’t even ask or doing homework with me. Simple acts like that will always be more significant than the typical materialistic gift.
– Acceptance
We can never control what is beyond our reach. I want a woman who will accept and love me, no matter how drastic our ever changing environment might be. Acceptance has no bounds.
– Trust
Takes considerable amount of time to develop, yet seconds to destroy. Guys have friends that are girls, girls have friends that are guys. As long as we’re on common ground and we fully invest our faith in one another, I will never question you.
– Space
Space is very essential in a relationship. I don’t believe in the ideology that couples must text each other on a day to day basis, because frankly, texting one another everyday gets dull and repetitive. BUT, I will always appreciate a phone call. Emotions are translated way better through a phone as opposed to a text.
– Deviating Away From The Common Practices Of Relationships
There are always those cliche practices in relationships. Let’s be a little different and set relationship trends 🙂
– Friendly
I have a wide spectrum of friends. Some are nerdy as fuck, some are cool as fuck, some are weird as fuck. My friends are not a reflection of who I am, but rather who I enjoy being around with. I want a woman who will interact with my friends no matter the walk of life.
– Heart & Mind > Cash & Income
I think I hate gold diggers as much as the next guy. Who wants to be with a woman who’s more concerned about when she’s going to be spoiled with the next handbag. I want a woman who isn’t materialistic. I will be financially stable one day but I don’t want my cash to dictate our relationship.
– Yourself
Be who you are. Don’t put up a front that might make me like you. Of course, the initial meets are nerve-wrecking and you might have to manipulate the way you act to get a better sense of who I am, but eventually I want to indulge in your entirety.
– Honesty
Be honest at all times. I will never get mad over minuscule things, so just be straightforward.
– Nonchalant
A woman who is laid back is super attractive.
– Mono Y Mono
A relationship is between two people. Meet me halfway and I promise I’ll be there.
– LOVE
Above all, a woman who will just love me for who I am and I’ll do the same.
*There are so many other qualities I seek in a woman LOL, but I doubt there will ever be a woman who will fulfill all these traits. Even if she completes like 5 of these, I’d be happy. Hence, nobody’s perfect.
Wealth is of the heart and mind, not the pockets.
Never-mind income, spoil me with loyalty
PIECE.
Just cos my hair looks fuggin awesome. My sweater ain’t awesome doe lmao.
Stuntin’ Is A Habit
Interesting style..looks very Middle Eastern inspired. If only I can grow facial hair like that -______-
Accessories..
Earrings: EARRING-HUGGIE BLACK/GOLD -RYCA-
Snapback: (/H.UP!\) Metal H Snapback [Black]
Scarf: J U D A S ::: The Revolution “Christian Dior Monogram Scarf”
Necklace: theology necklace/2LAG
Bracelet: Bracelet Bead Gold/Leather String -RYCA-
Watch: WATCH LNR GOLD [M] -RYCA-
Body..
Skin: -NIVARO- Crow Skin – lighttone – nohair_bald
Facial Hair/Prim Beard: -NIVARO- Beards – painter_black/Remorse/ -dD – Diego – Monochrome Box 02
Eyes: .ID. Mirror Eyes/Hazel
Body Hair: Complete Body Hair – Type 6
Fear.
We all have phobias. Spiders, cramped places, the dark. And how do we transcend from our fears? Acknowledge, plan and action. At least that was my strategy as a child when counteracting the boogeyman at night. So why can’t I implement this type of approach in school? I constantly remind myself of the consequences that will happen if I fail to do so, yet my words are not registering in my membrane. I’m just really fearful that I’m not going to succeed in school. 20 years old now and I can openly admit that my greatest fear is failure. One word, yet so patronizing.. I really can’t emphasize it enough like a pastor preaching about God. I just had my accounting test today and I’m sure I didn’t do as well as I hoped. Hope.. maybe that’s why I’m receiving mediocre grades, I HOPE for things to go according to plan, but hoping can only take you so far. Hoping is not even half the battle. Fuck, it ain’t even a 1/16th of the battle. As I said earlier, acknowledge, plan and action. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting dimmer everyday that I’m not doing what I am supposed to do. My parents are getting old and God knows how much longer they have left in them. The time is now to fulfill and commit.
ACKNOWLEDGE: What is deterring you from success? Why are you unable to reach the goal you’re chasing after? THE COMPUTER. As silly as it may be, it really is the root of all evil LOL. I get so fucking distracted every time I try to go on my computer to do homework. I can’t concentrate on one task without looking at an NBA highlight video or being intrigued by images from Tumblr. THE COMPUTER..
PLAN: What is your strategy to deviate you from your main source of distraction? I need to carry out some sort of consequence every time I distract myself on the computer. But it has to be within reason and something I can actually dedicate myself to.
ACTION: So what are you going to do if you catch yourself being distracted? I’m going to donate each piece of clothing that’s of value to me every time I try to visit a site that’s not homework-related.
RESULTS: To be permeated…
MADE TO BE GREATER
Hi. Hello. Welcome. Hey. Yo. Sup.
Quick disclaimer, 90 percent of the time I’m going to be off tangent and there are going to be no actual substance nor any invigorating profundity in this blog. I’m just a small kid in a dense population, trying to be greater than I am.
Funds. Cash. Finance. All that’s on my mind. I guess one of my greatest fears is being an average joe making an average joe pay. But fuck that, I am MADE TO BE GREATER. I keep telling myself that. I even have that shit posted on my wall so I can wake up to that every fucking morning LOL. Still, no motivation. But I think I speak on behalf of almost everyone, we all want to make our parents proud. How so? Being financially stable and allowing our parents to finally retire and relax for the remainder of their life. My mom wakes up at 4:45 AM, Monday through Friday. My dad works everyday during tax season, day & night. It’s really taxing and causes a great toll to their body. My parents hustled too hard to have this type of justification, they deserve better. But if I want them to live a better quality of life, I need to be successful. I am MADE TO BE GREATER. I’m almost 21 and I feel like my progression is minimal to none. 2.67 GPA, lack of priorities & responsibility, whack ass job, no hard work ethics. Smells like an average joe. But fuck that shit, I AM MADE TO BE GREATER. I really want to prove to myself that I am and WILL be successful. “The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out.” And that’s what I’m aiming for, succeed even if no one notices. Tou-fucking-che. So I know this one girl and her life/struggle straight up inspires me. 18 years old only and is supporting herself – (money, food, transportation, a roof over her head). I’m 20, and I ain’t even making moves like that. How is it that she can stand her own ground, maintain excellent grades, go through all the hardships in her life, and still be able to enjoy the perks of life? I really envy her. It’s simply a beautiful struggle. But I will persevere and make my family proud. And I vow that I’ll retire my parents before I turn 25. I PROMISE. Just gotta keep telling myself this…
I AM MADE TO BE GREATER..
thabigbadwong 